well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
