If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
