Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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