but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
