i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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