Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
