I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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