Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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