My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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