I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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