I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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