My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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