We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
