I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize