I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
