He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
