She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
