I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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