margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
