Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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