You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
