I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
