Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
