out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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