so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
