Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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