i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
