Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
