What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
