i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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