Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
