My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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