He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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