I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
