I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
