obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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