so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
