I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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