That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
