remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I lost the right to judge tonight
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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