real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
