Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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