Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
