The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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