ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
