her vagine was all disorganized.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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