Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
