i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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