I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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