She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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