I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
